As you all know, I have not used this all that much.. I have gone a time period without internet, we 'borrow' our neighbors and in between nasty weather therefore getting no signal (she lives across the parking lot), she forgot to pay it haha, and all of the madness going on in my life.. so here is a major, overdue, update.
Update on Cara -
Caraleigh Marie Silvey was born 12 July 2011 weighing 7 pounds, 7 ounces, She is now 9 months and 15 days old, and as of a week ago she weighed 17 pounds, 5 ounces (she is a munchkin like her Mommy). She is crawling, she says "Ma" not mama, ma. She also says "Da" and she has officially referenced her bottle with "ba ba" and each morning I get woken up to "MA MA MAAA ba ba" along with some giggles and smiles (unless she didn't wake up at midnight to eat, then of course I get woken up to cries). She can stand alone, point, high five, clap, wave (to my phone), climb up the stairs and she dances. She is learning to walk (she can take THREE steps, by herself) along with learning to stand by herself. I cannot express to you the joys, battles, happiness, and out right love I have for being a mother, a mother to my precious daughter, Caraleigh. She is so much like her Daddy, but the more she grows, the more she is becoming her Mommy :) and man do I love it! But oh boy, some days it just bites me right in the butt. She is such a wonderful baby, she doesn't cry for any unknown reason, she is SO SO SO smart, she is always watching you, always. She is constantly eating, whether it be a ba ba, oatmeal, baby food, Mommy and Daddy's food, or her puff snacks. She goes down for her nap, and bedtime without a problem, unless she is sick, then she only wants Mommy.
Some nights I walk into her room and see her soundly sleeping in the most awkward positions possible and I just can't help but cry. I cry because I cannot believe I, we, made such a remarkable baby, person. I cry because I just want her to stay my innocent baby, forever. Every day she grows more into the person she will become one day.. that is why it is so important to me to be a stay at home mom.. some of you may know, I didn't have my mom growing up, and I believe because of that I strive to be there for my daughter everyday for the rest of her, and my life. I strive to be the best that there is, and to make her into a beautiful, respectful, intelligent, successful, happy woman.
The update on Jerimey-
While Jerimey was deployed from December 2009 - April 2010, he endured some painful injuries.. Injuries that are catching up to us. He withheld those injuries to me, due to the fact that I was pregnant and he didn't want to add anymore stress on my plate. He had surgery number 1 exactly one week from when I had Cara. Then, surgery number 2 September 2010, and surgery number 3 December 2010.. it is now April of 2011 and we are quickly coming up on surgery number 4, anxiously coming up on it. His first surgery was experimental, the orthopedic surgeon went in to see 'what was going on in there', surgery number 2 was to take the previously placed screw, out.. and in the meantime he cut his ulnar nerve. When Jerimey woke up from anesthesia, he was in SO much pain, he ripped his IV out, hyperventilated 4 times, passed out 2 times, bruised my hand, back, arm, neck, and legs from holding on so tightly. The dumb fuck, excuse my language, nurses would not give him anything until he ate two crackers (which i ate 1.75 percent of) a couple days later he tells me "baby, I cant feel the right side of my hand" I called the doctor and he said to unwrap and re-wrap it, assuming that it was too tight and was cutting off circulation, which it wasn't. We went back 6 weeks later, still no feeling.. which puzzled, PUZZLED the doctor. PUZZLED! He solution, another surgery. Surgery number 3 was to go in and transfer the Ulnar Nerve, clean out the scar tissue, and see if there is any damage done to that said nerve. the conclusion? 'Mr. Silvey, Mrs. Silvey, I really don't know why this is happening. Give it some time and maybe the nerve will recover, but it will get worse first. I will see you back in 4 weeks and we will go from there' GIVE IT SOME TIME! how am I suppose to give it some time with a baby that NEEDS her Daddy.
Here we are, April 2011. Jerimey cannot feel the right side of his hand, has no strength (cannot hold a water bottle) he has tingling feeling in his index, and half of his middle finger, but cannot feel anything on his ring or pinky finger. As well as half of his palm, up into his wrist. He started to get a little better, we had hope, then one day I handed him Caraleigh and he dropped her, he yelled and I caught her. he dropped her. We are anxiously awaiting surgery number 4. This surgery it to go in and relieve some of the scar tissue, apparently Jerimey's body loves scar tissue, therefore whenever there is an incision made, during the healing process his body creates a lot of scar tissue. He is in a tremendous amount of pain all the time. It is hard for him to do everyday duties because he has yet to get use to the way his arm his, he is constantly getting sick, has a hard time sleeping. The most difficult task for him to do everyday is to play with Cara. It is very hard for him to pick her up or catch her is she falls or what ever. Now that she can crawl and climb it has gotten easier, but he cannot take her places with out me, I cannot leave Cara with him to go anywhere, even to the gas station because we don't want him to hurt himself if something were to happen. He goes to a pain management clinic and is prescribed pain bills, muscle relaxer, sleeping pills, a pad that sticks to his skin that is suppose to numb the skin, and has to go to physical therapy 3 times a week.
Because of all of this madness, Jerimey was put on a PEB Board. It is a drawn out process for him to medically retire. In this process a whole bunch of tests are ran. We have been told that he has PTSD, from the deployment, and just recently we had to schedule for a tbi clinic. he may have tbi, traumatic brain injury.
Update on myself -
I greatly enjoy being a mother and a wife, it is the greatest thing I could have ever possibly done with my life, ever. There has never, and will never be a day where I question my decision on my choice of life. Being a Marine Wife, Military Wife in general, is difficult. It is hard to go each day knowing that you are second to your husband, because of the military, it is hard knowing that any day he can deploy, literally. It is difficult being the one left behind. Deployments are the hardest thing any marriage can endure, as a military couple. The time away, the lonely days and nights, the endless worry, the what if's, the fear of a simple knock on the door, of the ring of a door bell. Jerimey's deployment was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. We had just gotten married, I was pregnant with Cara, he had a VERY rough deployment that got put all on my shoulders by a bad attitude, a depressed, lonely, angry, scared husband. He didn't do it on purpose, but a major point of being a wife is so that your husband can let everything out on you, and you dont take it to heart or let it affect your marriage. The deployment was VERY rough on me, but I was blessed to have been pregnant with Cara and to have gone home where I was surrounded by my family and loved ones.. Cara got me through it. I knew that I could not stress myself out too much, or cry too hard, or to freak out too badly because I didn't want to harm her. 06 April 2010, one of the greatest days of my life, the day Jerimey came home. The weeks following, We moved into OUR house, our first house, our home. We got settled in, had Caraleigh, and on came the surgeries. Jerimey's PTSD kicked in shortly after he returned home. Then when Cara was born I had insane baby blues, that was difficult to add to the mess, all of Jerimey's surgeries following, we had a few bumps with Cara's health, but she is as perfect as can be. Needless to say, it has been a very rough year and a half. It has been so difficult, heart breaking, yet rewarding journey. It has proven to us just how strong our marriage it, we have gone through a lot of times and struggles that would have easily broken a marriage apart, but not ours.. we are as strong as they come.. and I believe stronger. I have proven to myself just how strong I am, and how I am meant to be a wife, a Marine Wife. I may only be 20, but I feel as though I will only mature as a wife and as a mother, and although I am great at what I do now, I will only continue to get greater.